DMU POTATO FARMING TUTORIAL

Hello dear readers and welcome to my first ever SWD Bugle article. Today’s article is about the greatest species in the known universe: Potatoes and how to properly take care of a potato on DMU, so let’ just jump into it.

ENCLOSURE

To begin you must prepare a 15 by 9 by 11 room for your potato, the walls should be made of glass, the ceiling out of Tardis mesh slabs with a mesh trapdoor in the centre and I suggest making the floor out of a Podzol-Coarse Dirt-Path Block-Mycelium mix but just Podzol or grass works fine. Remember to decorate the cage with many flowers and 1 or 2 small trees your potato can leech of. There should be a small asymmetrical pond near the south west edge of your cage for the potato to drink and clean itself with. An Item frame placed on a small tree is the only bed a potato will sleep in, so get on that.

BEHAVIOUR

Potatoes do not like being observed and will not move at all, leaving a potato in it’s cage without putting it in the item frame will make the potato think you don’t love it and the potato will run away after 5 minutes. Whilst potatoes won’t move when observed they like bonding with their owner so make sure to bring it with you whenever you are away. DO NOT EAT CARROTS NEAR YOUR POTATO!!! This will cause your potato to dislike you and start biting, whilst on the topic of carrots dropping a carrot in your potato’s cage and leaving them 2 alone for 5 minutes will cause the potato to become very happy with you for reasons I cannot legally disclose.

DIET
You do not need to feed your potato as your potato will leech of the plants in it’s cage, however you do need to feed the plants around it with a special plant food mixture to give them the proteins the potato needs to survive. I would recommend “Professor’s ultimate potato plant mix” if you are looking to buy the food, if you want to make some yourself you will need zygon tongue stew, rotten flesh, melon seeds and an illegal waffle. Put all the ingredients in a blender and you have your needed potato food.

MATING

Potatoes are genderless and reproduce asexually, twice a month an adult potato will randomly drop a potato seedling out of it’s hidden squid like potato mouth.

Well that’s everything you need to know about potato farming, one final note to add is where you can get a potato: You can buy one at your local grocery store or adopt one from a vegetable shelter, thank you for reading and tschüss!