Today, I am writing this apology because I believe many people in this community see my or my actions as "rude, obnoxious, nasty towards players". This, for me, is not true. It is how I am. I do not mean to sound rude, I dont think I am obnoxious to the slightest and I am never nasty towards players.

From my perspective, a lot of people online or on Skype get bored and like to argue and I get the blame for it when I say things like "you are being stupid", but if someone is acting silly because they are bored, is it not stupid?

My point is that no-one can see my perspective and no-one knows what my life is like. I dont want sympathy or anything, but I will share a personal experience. A long time ago, a boy called Charlie, now called Einshine, stole a concept of mine, he now has almost 1 million subs on YouTube. I try to comment on all his videos, saying he is a fraud, because he is, but his fans dont see it that way and Charlie doesn't care.

I get things happening like this all the time, and I get extremely defensive and nasty in certain environments, especially online. So when someone tells me I'm being rude, I disagree. I have spoken, or said a comment in such a way because it is the only way I can see to word it.

I dont think about what I say a lot and I think that is what screws me over.

Please, everyone reading this, im not lying, trying to get unbanned, doing this for attention. I am not happy, I am not usually happy, and it kills me to know that many people in a particular community think I am the bad guy. It really kills me.

I am apologising because on some level, I know I'm rude, horrible and in a sense, pathetic, but it cant be helped if no-one tries to co-operate with me. And the people who think they are co-operating with me, you are not from my side of things, you are repeating yourselves and making me angrier.

I am apologising because I am sorry if I have sword at you, insulted, offended you, or done anything else to you.

I dont want anyone talking about my "incidents" in the future, I dont want anyone to hate me or accuse me in the future and I would like a fresh start.

A fresh start where I think before I type, a fresh start where I think about my words, or actions, and I know who I'm talking to.

This isn't an appeal to be unbanned, so dont respond like it is. Being unbanned from Skype or DMU Public would be a kind act, but I am saying sorry because I know I have done wrong and I know there is nothing I can do to fix it, I wish there were.

Only you can help me fix my mistakes.

First of all, your "apology" is not an apology. Starting off with the fact that you "think" you're not nasty, rude, or obnoxious is the worst way to. Stating that it's just how you are only proves the point further - you're everything you're saying you aren't. Condescending, obnoxious, rude, etc. The way you write off every blasted thing you do as you just being you is so stupid I cannot even fathom what goes on in your puny brain. 

You say an idea you had was stolen from a Youtuber who is now popular, Einshine. Let alone you giving zero proof of this (what the idea was, actual interaction with him, etc.) you also neglect to tell us if it was in video form, a song, anything. You also make it seem like it was the worst thing to ever happen to you, and that it was the reason for his popularity (which it absolutely wasn't, his content is legitimately funny and engaging whereas anything you have made is simply a rehash of what any good modeller like Ford has made.) You talk about this as if it's a legitimate excuse for your behavior. Nobody acts as pretentious and awful as you do from one measly idea being ripped off from them. You're clearly just, as you said yourself, rude, obnoxious, defensive, nasty, insulting, and condescending (among other things )

You continually do these things and expect to be embraced by the community for your problems that were caused by an outside source. Sound familiar?

I like this next line; "Only you can help me fix my mistakes." No, we can't. Only you can get over your pretentious personality. People on the internet that you've had zero actual interaction with will not and can not help you with your personal problems, so don't expect them to.

If it really does "kill you" that people think you're a bad guy, you'd think you would try and do something about it other than a half-baked apology and a sob story that isn't even true.

Now, albeit obligatory, we come to this mess of pastebin logs. Do you understand that you can't come back from full on insulting an SWD member, right? Especially Ford the technegod? Please stop being so condescending while writing an apology like this.

All in all; you're a bad guy, and nobody is accepting your apology. Until you legitimately stop being "just you" nobody is going to paint you in a better light. Your problems are your own, stop putting them on other people, especially people you don't know, mate.

Oh hey Blumac nice to see you stop by for a third time. What brings you here this time is it the fact you have made your image in the community look horrifying or is it the fact you regret going off at Ford multiple times only to proceed to get on your knees and offer him a gentle handie. I like to think it is a mix of both honestly but look at you this is an even worse situation then what Tarri use to get herself into. Just watching you cry for help as you blame others and call them harsh things brings a smile to my face because honestly you had this coming bucko. I would love to see you try to reform yourself and maybe even patch up that non existent relationship you have with EinShine. But hey I digress because calling people the C bomb and other things like telling them to kill themselves is perfectly fine and acceptable in a community filled to the brim with small children oh and by the way that money for your models is going real far to the mods development so thanks for the support! UwU

First of all, "I am writing this apology because I believe many people in this community see my or my actions as 'rude, obnoxious, nasty towards players." This is quite literally so contradictory that I am struggling to understand it or the logic behind it, if any. If it is "just how you are" then why are you saying that you don't believe it to be true? Your own issues are in your own hands. We, speaking both as a part of a community and as a staff force should not be the the facet of your life that dictates wether or not you are a decent person. Which, if you take a glance at the logs brought up by others you will see that there's a very high possibility that it'll take a little more than a nudge from others to get you in check.

You are lying saying that you are never nasty toward players. I have seen you use "kid" as an insult and call people idiotic, stupid and even calling people words so bad I won't repeat them here. You are lying to us as, speaking again, a staff force and a community and I do not appreciate such falsehoods.

"From my perspective, a lot of people online or on Skype get bored and like to argue and I get the blame for it when I say things like "you are being stupid", but if someone is acting silly because they are bored, is it not stupid?" You are blaming your issues on others in the Skype group. I have seen you go off on these people and 99% of the time you were in there it was you borderline instigating it by calling them stupid or referring to them as a kid as if it's an insult. You acted extremely entitled during these arguments, as if you were in the right simply because you viewed them as below you.

"My point is that no-one can see my perspective and no-one knows what my life is like." So far, this is the most logical thing that you have said. No, we don't know what your life is like, but even if it's bad, you come in our Skype groups and our Minecraft servers and agree to abide by the rules, which you break time and time again. It's insulting.

"I get things happening like this all the time, and I get extremely defensive and nasty in certain environments, especially online. So when someone tells me I'm being rude, I disagree. I have spoken, or said a comment in such a way because it is the only way I can see to word it." ...Well, here's the contradictions again. You said at the very beginning of this that you didn't view yourself as in the wrong, yet here you admit that you indeed do lash out at points.. It's like a ham fisted backward admittance to being in the wrong, but an admittance nonetheless.

"Please, everyone reading this, im not lying, trying to get unbanned, doing this for attention. I am not happy, I am not usually happy, and it kills me to know that many people in a particular community think I am the bad guy. It really kills me."

Unfortunately you're entrusting our view on you to be improved...by us, not you. If you want to imrove our stance on you then perhaps you shouldn't try to get around what we may see as negative actions by you by saying that they are false...And then two sentences later contradict yourself by saying that it's "just how you are."

"I am apologising because on some level, I know I'm rude, horrible and in a sense, pathetic, but it cant be helped if no-one tries to co-operate with me."

This, this actually made me burst out laughing. We are trying our hardest to "co-operate" with you, but you make it damn near impossible by, and speaking from experience, not listening to a simple "no", insulting others, refusing to listen to us telling you to stop a multitude of times...And once again, this is you contradicting yourself and blaming your own issues on us, it's insulting to a high degree that I highly doubt that you see.

"I dont want anyone talking about my "incidents" in the future, I dont want anyone to hate me or accuse me in the future and I would like a fresh start."

As simply as I can put it,  too bad. If you want a fresh start then don't define that "fresh start" as being entrusted to us, because news flash buddy, we'll be talking about your "incidents" because to us, these are the points in which we can see the very negative aspect of your personality. We all try to get along with you and, i'm not gonna lie, it's easy at points, but when you're at your lowest is when we're gonna remember every word you're saying.

"This isn't an appeal to be unbanned, so dont respond like it is. Being unbanned from Skype or DMU Public would be a kind act, but I am saying sorry because I know I have done wrong and I know there is nothing I can do to fix it, I wish there were."

Well, at least you're being honest..

"Only you can help me fix my mistakes."

No. We cannot. If you're telling yourself that then in all honesty you need to get real. You are the only person who can fully help yourself, I try to get along with you but whenever you lash out like have a variety of times, then my attempts to help you when you need it become increasingly half hearted.

Evaluate yourself and who you are. Don't rely on us to do it for you.

 This is the point I would have made, If I were not Beat to it. 

Wow. I am trying to say sorry and you bring back all the crap I asked you not too.

Immature, rude, silly, childish and pathetic. I'm trying to fix it, but even if there is nothing to fix, you dont all have to gang up on me and be rude and outcast me.

Also, because I have a problem with you lot, which I dont want to have a problem with in the first place, everyone trusts you when they shouldnt and just assumes I'm a bad person. Stop spreading parts of chat when you dont have the whole converation, mob mentality really spreads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zUNwYXyegs

Me and Charlie used to be very good friends. I have a grip of myself, I do behave better than this community because I have a brain. Get yourself into education and stop accusing me of nothing. Thanks and Goodbye, from this point on I will only be talking to John, because he isn't someone who just spreads rumours of me.

 Refer to me saying "We are trying our hardest to "co-operate" with you, but you make it damn near impossible by, and speaking from experience, not listening to a simple "no", insulting others, refusing to listen to us telling you to stop a multitude of times...And once again, this is you contradicting yourself and blaming your own issues on us, it's insulting to a high degree that I highly doubt that you see."

Blu, did you not read any of our responses? We all wrote off your proposition to ignore what you did in the past because it's not that easy. You're contradictory and overall just a bad person. Stop begging for forgiveness you'll never get.

And we did post whole conversations, if you want to fabricate more lies about what people say and do (i.e the Einshine situation) go for it, nobody's going to believe a bit of it and it's only going to make you look worse.

 this is literally the exact opposite of the truth. you are so backwards it is ridiculous. i cant get over how turned around you are.

 If you 'have a brain' I'd have thought you'd be able to tell that you clearly did something..

Again if you 'have a brain' you would not use that phrase - a normal human cannot function properly without this particular organ.

 Wow. Im a bad person? Should I kill myself? There is no point in being alive if im a bad person, is there? Y'know what, this is online. Online, you are all c*nts because you can be. I have better things to spend my time on, bye.

 Jesse, I attempted to help and you gave me nothing but insults and you just had to find some sort of flaw. Everyone else is too childish, yet I was too formal and a "Text Support *C-Bomb*"  going as far as to wish I contract a STD and die. And yes, We do have the entire conversations. We put a pastebin. Which I shall put back here also so you cannot claim I am in the wrong, Like you do everyone else rather than fix your own issues. Source: http://pastebin.com/ZQtfsvzr

Do not lie and call us the issue, When this is entirely your actions. I did not once insult you or provoke any unneeded drama but yet was presented with countless swears and other slander. You are 19, A legal adult. Grow up and take responsibility for your own actions. -Ellie 

"I have a grip of myself, I do behave better than this community because I have a brain. Get yourself into education and stop accusing me of nothing."

Oh please...

I've already warned the other team members, including John, to ignore you for the time being. We don't want any of this drama coming to us.

 Have you considered just leaving the community? If you have better things to spend your time on, what was the point of this apology that achieved nothing but making you look worse? Please toss off before you get yourself in more trouble.

P.S, pretty sure John doesn't wanna talk to you no more ;)