when i try to connect it says logging in for like  5 minutes then it says connection refused or timeout

Try connecting again after a few minutes and restart the game. Others are probably trying to do the same thing, so it depends if the server allows your request to be made.(I.e logged in)

Someone thought i was greifing when i was trying to clean up a greif and then they banned me! :,(

 Could you make a report here: https://swdteam.co.uk/forum?p=topic&tid=15

Please state what happened, where were you before the ban, what you were going specifically before the ban, and why you think you should in unbanned. I would recommend making a seperate heading for each questions, it makes it a lot easier to read by server staff therefore they might unban you. :)